Gaping at the computer monitor as though it were the actual idiot herself, Shelton slammed his head into the keyboard yet again. "How the hell is it my fault?" he demanded furiously.
"Because the one time I have a ride, you can't go and Gianluca can't go if you can't, so it's your fault," she said matter-of-factly, as though it made any sense.
"You know what? You're a bitch." (The camera-girl had no time to edit out the foul language, you have the director's fullest and upmost apologies.) There was a brief moment of silence save for the continual "bloop" caused by Gianluca sending Shelton frantic IMs.
"I know," she said finally, obviously for lack of anything better to say.
Shelton glanced at Gianluca's messages. He was heatbroken. If the girl had knocked on his door right then, he really would have shot her. His eye glinted maliciously. Suddenly, the phone rang. Growling, he picked up the reciever. "Hello?" he said grumpily. It was Selenie and Hannah.
"HEY!" Hannah shrieked, obviously hyper (hence the screen name, hyperhandy).
Suddenly, the wheels which before were so opposed to turning began to spin out of control. "Hannah, you know Lookie Dookie, right?" he asked curiously. He told Gianluca to be quiet for a few seconds, until he could figure something out.
"Ohmygod!" she squealed. "He is sooooooooo cool!! Why? Does he, like, like me or something?"
Selenie was giggling madly on her line. Shelton quickly IMed Gianluca. "Dude, Hannah will go out with you if you ask her. We'll go to the park and make out later, okay?" Gianluca agreed and within a matter of seconds, he, too, was on the line.
"Hey, Missy, will you play Blackbird for us? It sounds sort of romantic, and Hannah is an idiot... Please, c'mon..." Shelton pleaded with his elder sister. She rolled her eyes.
"Why not just play Me vs. Madonna vs. Elvis?" she asked, stifling a laugh. Shelton smirked, obviously amused, but refrained from playing it. Instead, he played The No Seatbelt Song in the background.
"Hannah?" Gianluca breathed into the reciever. He was trying to refrain from laughter, as he desired to make out with someone that day.
"Yes?" she squeaked. Hannah was turning purple from lack of air. She could not make oxygen get to her lungs-- it was floating straight out of her head through her ears and nostrils.
"Will you go out with me?" Dookie asked in the most romantic tone he could muster.
His seductive voice was simply too much for the girl. "OH YES!" she screamed.
In a matter of two milliseconds, the children of twelve years of age found themselves at the local park. Here, the camera crews disbanded for deceny's sake.
Later that night, on a phone call, Gianluca laughed. "Shelton, we're manwhores! I'm buying you a thong for your birthday!" Little did he know what trauma those simple words would inflict upon two girls known as Missy and Ashley.
Next time on Nights of our Deaths: Episode 7. "Hannah, you're going to die!" a crackly voice hissed into the phone. On her end of the line, a scream full of terror, anguish, and idiocy flooded the listeners' eardrums.