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Friend's Only [25 Nov 2008|08:20pm]

Friends only.

Comment. I'll add.

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Gone with the Wind [06 Aug 2007|06:39pm]
I'd give anything to change my feelings.

But unlike Scarlett, I know I've got to give up, and unlike Scarlett, I have not and will not pursue it.

It just hurts. I wish I could transfer these feelings to someone else, anyone else.
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4th [04 Jul 2007|11:30am]
Happy 4th, kids!


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[05 May 2007|01:53pm]
Every time it is said as a joke, she struggles to hold back more tears.

She was told this morning, "It's not for you to worry about," but it is.

It's all on her-- she pushed, and the world pushed back, and she went flying backwards.

so this is what she gets.
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pissed [25 Feb 2007|10:50am]
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[23 Nov 2006|09:10pm]
For the entire world to see:

The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me, Brand New's latest album, is probably the most inspirational album I have yet to listen to. It's inspired me to write, breaking a six month long writer's block.

Buy it. Now.
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Nights of our Deaths: Episode 6 Pt II [14 Aug 2004|07:01pm]

Gaping at the computer monitor as though it were the actual idiot herself, Shelton slammed his head into the keyboard yet again. "How the hell is it my fault?" he demanded furiously.

"Because the one time I have a ride, you can't go and Gianluca can't go if you can't, so it's your fault," she said matter-of-factly, as though it made any sense.

"You know what? You're a bitch." (The camera-girl had no time to edit out the foul language, you have the director's fullest and upmost apologies.) There was a brief moment of silence save for the continual "bloop" caused by Gianluca sending Shelton frantic IMs. 

"I know," she said finally, obviously for lack of anything better to say.

Shelton glanced at Gianluca's messages. He was heatbroken. If the girl had knocked on his door right then, he really would have shot her. His eye glinted maliciously. Suddenly, the phone rang. Growling, he picked up the reciever. "Hello?" he said grumpily. It was Selenie and Hannah.

 "HEY!" Hannah shrieked, obviously hyper (hence the screen name, hyperhandy).

Suddenly, the wheels which before were so opposed to turning began to spin out of control. "Hannah, you know Lookie Dookie, right?" he asked curiously. He told Gianluca to be quiet for a few seconds, until he could figure something out.

"Ohmygod!" she squealed. "He is sooooooooo cool!! Why? Does he, like, like me or something?"

Selenie was giggling madly on her line. Shelton quickly IMed Gianluca. "Dude, Hannah will go out with you if you ask her. We'll go to the park and make out later, okay?" Gianluca agreed and within a matter of seconds, he, too, was on the line.

"Hey, Missy, will you play Blackbird for us? It sounds sort of romantic, and Hannah is an idiot... Please, c'mon..." Shelton pleaded with his elder sister. She rolled her eyes.

"Why not just play Me vs. Madonna vs. Elvis?" she asked, stifling a laugh. Shelton smirked, obviously amused, but refrained from playing it. Instead, he played The No Seatbelt Song in the background.

"Hannah?" Gianluca breathed into the reciever. He was trying to refrain from laughter, as he desired to make out with someone that day.

"Yes?" she squeaked. Hannah was turning purple from lack of air. She could not make oxygen get to her lungs-- it was floating straight out of her head through her ears and nostrils.

"Will you go out with me?" Dookie asked in the most romantic tone he could muster.

His seductive voice was simply too much for the girl. "OH YES!" she screamed.

In a matter of two milliseconds, the children of twelve years of age found themselves at the local park. Here, the camera crews disbanded for deceny's sake.

Later that night, on a phone call, Gianluca laughed. "Shelton, we're manwhores! I'm buying you a thong for your birthday!" Little did he know what trauma those simple words would inflict upon two girls known as Missy and Ashley.

Next time on Nights of our Deaths: Episode 7. "Hannah, you're going to die!" a crackly voice hissed into the phone. On her end of the line, a scream full of terror, anguish, and idiocy flooded the listeners' eardrums.

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Nights of our Deaths: Episode 6 [14 Aug 2004|06:24pm]

It was a bright, relentlessly sunny Friday morning, and Shelton was stumbling into the kitchen to prepare himself his first meal of the day-- elevensies. He had woken up rather late, and therefore missed first and second breakfast. Suddenly, the phone rang. Missy, standing next to the phone eating a poptart, glanced at the number. "Hmm," she said aloud. "It looks as if Stephanie is giving you a buzz." She then chucked the phone at her younger brother, narrowly missing the bowl of cereal at his face.

"Dude, Missy," Shelton said, glaring at her. He then answered. "Hi."


"What do you want?"

Gianluca's girlfriend giggled. "I have a ride into the Woodlands today! Let's go see a movie with Dookie!" she squealed.

"Uh... I can't today. Call Dookie though," Shelton said, giving a funny look. Why had Lukie Dookie's girlfriend called him and not her actual boyfriend? The wheels were struggling to turn in his rusted mind.

"Oh. Okay."

After Shelton devoured his cereal, bowl included, and Missy laughed at him and the stupidity of it all, he shook his head to give it that just-got-out-of-bed look, as it had flattened whilst he spoke with the bimbo who called herself Stephanie. Then, he staggered upstairs, pretending to be half-asleep for reasons unbeknownst to the camera crews and producers of the Soap Opera. Sitting down at the computer, he signed himself on to AIM. Almost immediately, the poor soul was inundated with an influx of IMs. "SHELTON! SHE BROKE UP WITH ME!" sobbed Gianluca. "I DON'T KNOW WHY!" he screamed. "DUDE! TALK TO HER!"

Shelton slammed his head on the keyboard. "Goddamn girls," he thought to himself. He agreed to speak with this fickle girl and sent her an IM. "Why did you break up with Dookie?" he demanded.

"It was your fault."

Shelton gasped, mortally offended by this accusation.

What will happen? Find out after this commercial break. Missy can't seem to listen to Seventy Times 7 without wondering what the hell Lacey's girlfriend was thinking and still be able to write a soap opera.

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Nights of our Deaths: Episode 5 [10 Aug 2004|08:34am]

"Danielle, can we just be friends?" Shelton asked his girlfriend. They had had a most trying relationship. Her requirements were simply impossible for him to meet. He simply was not able to sit through A Cinderella Story and not lean over and give her a kiss. It was asking too much. Bad things would happen if he went to a chick flick and didn't get any action. He had never even really talked to her in real life. He had seen her from afar, and she looked cute from that distance, so a movie would have been fine, had it been a good one.

"OK!" she said. "That's a good idea. Besides, Selenie likes you." Danielle smiled cheerfully. That was another thing that bugged him. Her smile. It was always there. He secretly wanted to rip off her perky facade, but could never find the crease. They were still good friends, of course. Once you aren't seeing a person, you forget their faults.

"Selenie the Weenie, Selenie?" he asked incredulously. Selenie had been "Um Uh Cow", the girl who was Hannah's best friend, who made them continuously get back together, who's shallowness resulted in more than one unhappy breakup between the same two individuals. "She's cool."

And that was how it so happened that in just four short hours, he was dating Selenie  the Weenie cowgirl. By the next morning, you'd have thought that they had been going out for at least two months. "I love you!" they cried, giggling to each other like little school girls. Shelton wasn't giggling, he was laughing silently. Men don't giggle, after all, but this was close. "Shelton!" Selenie squealed. "I've found another cow lover!"

"Congratulations. Are you vegetarian?"

"ME? Of course not! I just love cows!!! They're so cute and precious and have spots and remind me of how cute you are!" she giggled.

Missy, who, as was usual, stood nearbye, obviously struggling in a viscious internal battle of not laughing. She did not say what she so very much wanted to-- "Your girlfriend thinks of you when she looks at cows. Gee, how flattering." Instead, she patiently listened as Shelton talked animatedly about his new girl. "Yeah. She's cool. She loves cows. Selenie the Weenie," he said.

Suddenly, an "I love you!" hurled across the room. More sickeningly sweet words were exchanged. Missy suddenly found herself choking on a spoon that had appeared in her throat*. It was vomit inducing, although it certainly was not as disgusting as the Hannah Affair. Amidst struggling for breath, Missy laughed hysterically as Shelton changed the name of the "Ode to Hannah" to "Ode to Danielle" and again to "Ode to Selenie".

* An allusion to the valley girl saying "gag me with a spoon". Someone kindly pointed out that not everyone knows of that saying, So, for all you ignorant language pricks... it wasn't completely random.

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Nights of our Deaths: IV pt ii [10 Aug 2004|08:25am]

Previously on Nights of our Deaths, Episode 4, Shelton, Gianluca, and his sister were forced into attending a boat convention. Deciding to take a restroom break, Shelton and his friend entered the Men's Restroom. Within two seconds, they came flying out. What sadistic evil forced them to abandon all hopes of an empty bladder?

"MISSY!" Shelton screamed, his trademark Furby eyes as wide as crop circles. Gianluca, too, had a look of sheer terror pasted upon his face. Their skin had turned the palest of whites, and smiles tugged at the corner of their mouths.

"What?" she asked in between bites of the last piece of cheese pizza.

"You bitch, give me that," Shelton ordered, yanking the remaning bits of food from her hands. After stuffing his mouth with the nourishment, Shelton sighed. "Yeah, well, anyways. We were in the bathroom and so was that guy there," he said pointing at a balding man wearing too-small dress pants and a white collared shirt. He looked perfectly respectable. "We were trying to piss, and he said 'hey' and winked at me."

Missy's eyebrows vanished from site. "Er... Ok..." she said, not sure whether to be amused or apalled.

Slurping on their cokes, the three silently made a pact to find their parents and remain with them for the rest of boat show.

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Nights of Our Lives: Episode 4 [31 Jul 2004|07:11pm]

Shelton, his surrogate brother (and best friend), Gianluca, as well as his elder sister, Missy were accompanying their parents to a boat show in downtown Houston. Upon their arrival, the three adolescents realize that they are starving.

"Hey, Dad, can we go get some lunch?" Shelton asked. It was not really a question of getting lunch. It was a question that told the parents that the children were in need of money.

Their mother, Pam, sighed. "Here's a twenty. We'll see you in a few, okay?" she said, smiling. She and Will then walked down an aisle. All around was boat after magnificent boat.

After a long, exhausting hunt for food, Missy spotted a giant Coca Cola sign near the front entrance where they had started thirty minutes before. "That way!" she cried gleefully, and Shelton and Gianluca took off toward it as though it were the North Star guiding them safely home.

A small lunch was ordered. "This is a rip off," Gianluca muttered, staring at a miniscule pizza and soda that was to serve as all three of their lunches. With much complaint, the lunch was eaten."Dude, this sucks," repeatedly echoed across the tables.

Shelton suddenly turned ghostly pale. "Dude, I have to piss," he said. Gianluca smiled and pointed to the restroom sign, which to his horror was located at the most remote area of the convention center.

With a strange expression pasted upon his face, Shelton led the trio to the said restrooms. He and Gianluca entered, and quickly returned.

--What happened? Dun dun dun!--


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